Plus, how to protect your clothes from Cheeto-dusted patdowns.
- Chocolate-dipped strawberries
These are so juicy, they almost count as a liquid. But you can squeeze them through if you give the inspecting TSA agent a little bite. Your eyes lock as you raise the strawberry to their lips. A wave of electricity rushes through you. What? This is crazy. You’ve never felt such an instant connection with a stranger before.
2. Mom’s chili
This one IS a liquid! And you packed it in a quart sized baggie so really, there should be no issue. But TSA is suspicious. You could really blow up an airplane bathroom with this stuff, if you know what I mean. A little taste test will go a long way to smoothing this over.
3. Pot brownies
Contrary to popular belief, you actually can take cannabis-infused brownies on a domestic flight– as long as you are willing to pay the tax. The tax is always a much bigger bite than you’d expect, but in our opinion, it’s still the best way to transport marijuana across state lines.
4. A bag of flaming hot cheetos
Sure, a TSA agent could get these out of any airport vending machine, but they always taste so much better when it’s someone else’s bag. Give them a few as a reward after a friendly patdown.
5. A 25 lb wheel of cheese
That’s right, remember that I Love Lucy episode? If she had just let the TSA agent have one little bite, she could have avoided 22 minutes of hilarious hijinks.
