“If I don’t move into a house, how am I ever supposed to marry Freddy Prince Jr.?”
On a stormy October night in 1997, ten-year-old Leslie Jordan sealed her future in a game of MASH with her friends at a sleepover. The many paths of fate were spread out before her on a humble sheet of notebook paper: Husband, House, Car, Honeymoon, City, Job, Pet, Number of Kids. The wind howled outside as her friend began to draw the magic swirly thing until Leslie cried, “Stop!” Lightning crackled across the sky. Her destiny was set.
That’s why it makes absolutely no sense why Leslie is still single and renting a one-bedroom apartment when she was obviously supposed to be living in a house with Freddie Prinze Jr. by now! What happened here?? Why is Sarah Michelle Gellar living out Leslie’s rightful fate? How could this have all gone so wrong?
“On the one hand, I wasn’t thrilled about having 27 kids, so I guess it’s okay that that part hasn’t come true,” said Leslie. “On the other hand, I can’t believe I’m still arguing with my landlord about fixing the water heater. I thought the prophecy would have been fulfilled by now!”
Through a records request to the 1997 slumber party participants, Leslie’s original MASH answers were obtained for further review. The original document shows that in addition to living in a house with Freddie and their 27 kids, Leslie will soon be employed as the president of the United States, drive a VW bug, have a snail as a pet, and enjoy her honeymoon in outer space.
