Move Over Zodiac Signs. I’m a Haunting on Hill House on the Cusp of Halloweentown
The Addams Family
Cara mia. Mon sauvage. You are at that very special age when a person has only one thing on their mind: homicide. Your choice of weapon? Love. Yours is a dangerous love that seduces and suffocates your object of desire. Take advantage of the season and spark your dates with passion. A perfect night out for you may include waltzing, grave digging, or even cooking a meal full of their favorite entrails. And make sure they don’t torture themselves, that’s your job.
The Corpse Bride
RIP to your love life. Whatever the cause of a breakup, you’re always the one who puts the nail in the coffin. You know the last time they said “It’s not you, it’s me”? They were lying. It is you. You always get too desperate in relationships. Work on yourself, and when the time is right, try not to fall for someone who is already engaged. We all remember how that went last time, you hopeless romantic. When things get rough, refrain from thoughts that putting a ring on it. It will not fix everything. You’ll thank me later.
Hocus Pocus
You’ve been searching for that magic spark for a while now, and the time has come. With the full moon in full force, your Thackery Binx or Sarah Sanderson is about to arrive. Just be sure to cast a spell the next time you see your special someone to make sure they’re yours. We suggest wearing a talisman of a dead man’s toe to really get them. Next thing you know, you two will be sailing off in the moonlight and saying goodbye to the cruel world.
