What happened to the pig, the cow, chicken? Where is he now? And what became of his farm?
Most of society’s ills can be traced to Mother Goose.
Jack fell down and broke his crown—almost definitely a concussion, with an inference of an open wound—and they put vinegar in it? There are laws against that kind of thing. Brown paper is no substitute for a sterile gauze and a credible medic. But that’s the earliest lesson in home first aid our children learn.
And I don’t care how nimble or quick Jack is, placing candles on the floor and jumping over them is contrary to what any fire officer will tell you is smart.
Encouraging dangerous behavior aside, we fill our children’s heads with factual inaccuracies. Queens don’t do their own baking, tarts or otherwise. Feathers stuck in caps do not suddenly become pasta no matter what you call it. And funnel shaped columns of rotating water-filled clouds can’t be climbed by spiders.
You want to know why kids hate aptitude questions about trains leaving stations at different speeds? It’s because the first one they’re ever asked is how many peppers Peter Piper picked if he picked a peck of them. You’re an adult, you tell me how many a peck is. You can’t can you? Ask for a peck of anything at Walmart and see what happens. It’s a trick question anyway, a peck is eight dry quarts and not a number. So whatever they answer they’re wrong. Mother Goose makes math teachers’ jobs so much harder.
And how many sociopaths started down their dark path learning that it’s okay to cut tails off helpless rodents?
Embezzlement, overeating, cheating, and lies. It all starts in the crib. Burn Mother Goose and the crime rate will fall happily ever after.
