Oh yeah, Carl. Shake that vending machine. Make those Lays chips your b*tch.
Someone is breathing heavily in this office, and it’s not Carl shaking that vending machine. It’s me, feeling hot and bothered watching it happen. On any normal workday, I would still be feeling bothered, as watching a grown man try to defeat a vending machine is always pretty cringey. But not today. Today, it feels primal.
I fold the corner of the page and set down my book. Reading is so good for your brain. You know what else is good for your brain? Sex, probably. There’s no rule on what kind of reading is good for you. All kinds of books count. Including A Court of Thorns and Roses. If I was a celebrity in the 90s, this is the book I would pick to hold on my READ poster that would hang in the children’s section of my local library. I’m not embarrassed– I know what I like. And what I like is freaky fairies getting it on.
Sometimes afternoons at the office can drag. But not when I pop in the audiobook on my headphones after my lunch break ends. It’s called multitasking, and science has shown that women are better at it than men. That means no one can tell me I can’t listen to high-fantasy soft-erotica at work. Am I being as effective as usual? Maybe not. Am I having a way better Thursday than usual? Definitely. Also, is it just me, or is Carl looking hot as hell with that collared shirt peeking out underneath his navy sweater? Absolutely. Carl, you little tease!
