It’s not porn. It’s just escapist literature that sacrifices typical story elements like plot or characterization, focusing instead on perpetuating unrealistic and unhealthy portrayals of the human sexual experience and gets me all hot and bothered, and obviously, I mean, kids shouldn’t read it which is why I don’t just leave it out anywhere, but it’s not like porn, that’s like videos and photos and stuff and this is books so it’s different.

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