Because a home is not a place, it’s a feeling, and it hasn’t been the same since Deborah left.

Short Greg

Recently separated salesman Burton Harris confirmed to his coworkers that his home office is technically only a house office, until Deborah returns to breathe life into it once more. 

Harris’s coworker Janet said everyone in the office now knows a great deal about Deborah and that Deborah may have left to pursue an emotional affair with an old high school flame. Janet clarified that she had learned all this information about Deborah largely against her will, because Burton refused to stop bringing up his imploding marriage in work meetings. 

“Just last week, we were all on a zoom call and our boss called on Burton to comment on a proposed project timeline and he said, “Burton? That’s exactly what Deborah used to call me” and burst into tears. It’s things like that, all the time. I really can’t with this guy,” Janet said. 


When asked about the situation, Burton remarked, “Are you writing that I’m divorced? Because I’m definitely not divorced. I haven’t signed anything, and I never will. Oh, Deborah! Come home to me and free me from this misery! I know I’ve made mistakes. But people can change! And I have changed into a man who can’t stop talking about his personal life at work. Give me another chance to prove myself worthy!” 

Deborah could not be reached for comment at time of publication.

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