But what about those of us that bought clearance items ineligible for Kohl’s cash? What about us, huh?
Pam, Debt-Ridden Home School Graduate
After President Biden’s now infamous comment “The burden of debt is hurting the Americans with the greatest potential to pay off debt,” he appointed Cole Nudge chairman of the Student Debt Relief Committee. This week Nudge outlined the committee’s program for Americans with student debt, and Kohl’s cash is just the beginning.
“There are a dozen ways we can help before they even graduate,” said Nudge. “From January, students will receive a second bundle of Value Coupons in their mail each week, making their dollar go farther.”
“Also, students use a lot of books and they’re expensive. I envision each town in America owning lots of books that students can borrow — for free — and when they’re done, take them back for someone else to borrow! We’ll call them bibliorys or something.”
Nudge had one idea at a fast-food drive through. “I had tacos the other day, and it was Two for Two Tuesday. What a concept! I encourage businesses to make that offer available to anyone that buys tacos, especially students.”
Nudge acknowledged that Americans with student debt need to do their part too and is sending out thousands of free piggy banks. “It can hold up to $45 in quarters. That’s $90 worth of tacos if you buy them on a Tuesday.”
Nudge has been challenged that instead of writing off loans, money should be used to create scholarships and avoid student debt in the first place.
“Well, educated Americans earn more, so we need them to make donations to scholarship funds,” Nudge said. “They can’t do that if we take their money in loan repayments. I think educated Americans should qualify for mortgage relief on their homes when they get those too. And get a free car. But that’s outside the committee’s jurisdiction.”
