“I guess real people won’t live next to a sewage plant for years without complaining.” – Mayor Whelen
When Leonard Whelen was elected to local office last month, he thought he had adequately prepared for the job. In addition to getting an MPA, he had spent most of his formative adolescent years devoting himself to SimCity. Unfortunately, his term has been off to a rocky start as the human beings he is now in charge of are considerably more complex and difficult to manage than the Sim constituents he was practicing on.
“As mayor, I thought I would finally reap the reward for spending so many hours being the benevolent god of SimCity. But this job hasn’t been as much fun as I expected,” Whelen admitted. “For one, all the roads are pretty much already built. And if you try to change them, people get pretty mad.”
Originally, Whelen had dreamed of being a roller coaster tycoon, after showing an aptitude for generating a high-revenue park with only minimal roller coaster deaths. But after Disney rejected his offer to run one of their flagship amusement parks, he decided to start building his empire closer to home.
“Working with real human people is just harder than they tell you,” Whelen said. “For example, I tried to raise taxes by 2000% for a few days– just until we got enough money for a new rec center. It was only going to last a week! But everybody just lost their minds over it.”
“Anyway,” Whelen continued, “My recall election is coming up soon and I hope I have your vote!”
