Debra was the single biggest threat and supporter of the streaming industry.

After vowing to crack down on account-sharing, Netflix has officially overplayed its hand. When the streaming giant deleted your mom’s account this week, it lost Debra and one million other users, sending a shock wave across the company’s stock valuation, programming forecast, and algorithm that calculates its Top 10 TV Shows In The US Today. 

Netflix execs are baffled by how one account could be circulated so widely, for so long. In a statement, CEO Ted Sarandos said, “Debra was both the single greatest threat and greatest supporter of the streaming industry. She was our white whale. Losing her, along with the legions of moray eels also logged in to her account, will hopefully result in more paid subscribers in the long run, offsetting the significant loss of viewership at present.”

Unfortunately, Netflix is dreaming. For years, Debra’s login information was freely available across crowded college apartment buildings, Airbnb Rokus, and even subreddit threads. Debra didn’t care. She was just happy to watch season 4 of Virgin River. And though she is no longer the chosen one, another will rise to claim her place. Preferably another nice mom who does not pay close attention to the personalized lists assembled by Netflix’s algorithm.

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