Do some time in the clink and get ahead of it. You don’t understand your taxes. There’s no way you got it right.
“I tried to read the instructions for doing taxes. We all do right?” said Simeon Arbuckle from his cell. “But the odds are I’m doing something wrong on them. Thankfully the IRS is there to catch my mistakes and tell how much jail time I’ll need to do.”
Arbuckle is taking advantage of the new ‘cell-share’ scheme where he serves jail time now so as to not have to do it when he’s finally caught. He has clocked up 21 days inside so far this year, and hopes to make it to two months by the time next April rolls around. “For me the best time is when the kids go visit grandma,” Arbuckle says, and then tells us about his cell-share buddies. “Well there’s Karl, he comes in when the elections are on — he hates politics, and Mat, he doesn’t like sports so most weekends he comes in and clocks a couple of hours.”
Big time evaders are planning ahead too. Midge (not his real name), has been syphoning company profits into an offshore account for years. He figures that once they finally get around to checking his returns he’ll get ten years, but if he can accumulate six or seven of them before he’s caught, he’ll get out in time to enjoy the cash.
A representative for the Commission for Future Tax crime says there are two huge benefits to Americans doing time early. “First, it means a chronically overpopulated prison population won’t grow as much as expected, and second a chronically understaffed IRS doesn’t have to worry about catching everyone now.”
