I just mute during the big rips!
Harry Brack, CEO
A groundbreaking new study released this week reveals an overwhelming majority of men multitask on zoom calls– specifically, they use the time to receive Brazilian waxes.
One study participant who wished to remain anonymous defended the practice as “less weird than you’d think.” He explained, “This isn’t a Jeffrey Toobin kind of situation. My waxing doesn’t hurt anybody. Except me, of course. It hurts me quite a lot.”
Overall, the men agreed that although the waxes were excruciating, it was worth it for a smooth wipe while on the can. Additionally, 60% of participants said that the pain helped them make decisions at work by mashing down on their keyboard during major rips and then living with the consequences of whatever they typed afterward.
An accompanying survey asked men’s coworkers whether they could tell that their colleagues were getting the hair ripped from between their cheeks while on zoom meetings. Survey responses ranged from “I’m sorry, what?” to “Yeah, Ted keeps leaving his mic on during meetings, including the meeting HR had to have asking everyone to not get body waxes during work hours. It was so awkward, because the meeting was obviously only for one person. And that person was getting the hair torn out of his nether regions instead of listening, which is really the exact opposite of what we need here.”
“I don’t care, I’ll never stop waxing,” Ted responded when asked. “The pain is the only thing that helps me feel alive at work anymore.”
