Hint: it’s the only gender it talk about.
After a slew of recent decisions overturning established percent, the Supreme Court this week surprised Americans once again by doing something they’ve never done before. The six conservative justices teamed up on the front steps of the Supreme Court building to throw a gender reveal party for the Constitution of the United States.
“It’s a boy!” they shouted in unison, launching blue smoke cannons and confetti out onto the concrete plaza. “Just like the founding fathers hoped for,” exclaimed Justice Amy Coney Barrett with tears in her eyes. “What a blessing!” cried Justice Samuel Alito. “God has been so good to us.”
The Justices were joined by their friends and family, members of the Federalist Society, and the animatronic Ronald Reagan on loan from Disney World. Ginny Thomas, wife of Justice Clarence Thomas, brought a blue sheetcake and several cases of lighter fluid on the mistaken assumption that the gender reveal party would be taking place on the steps of the Capitol instead of the Supreme Court.
Congressional Democrats privately expressed disappointment that the gender reveal party had not shown the Constitution to be a girl. “That would have been a wonderful opportunity to unite and heal the nation,” remarked Senate Majority Leader Chuck Shumer. “Oh well. What can you do?”
